The two experiences you write about are so similar to mine. I have them over and over again-rinse, lather, repeat.
It’s why I have not dated for over the fourteen months of my separation; I feel like I’m going to keep attracting the same kind of men over and over again because I haven’t learned whatever lessons I needed to learn to save myself the insanity.
I’m also far too nice and always listen to people without judgement. I feel I have no right to judge because I’ve never been perfectly behaved at all times either. I think many people love that quality of non-judgement because they can finally unburden themselves.
I don’t know how to go about finding a man who has his sh*t together (especially at my age). I’m pretty sure it’s not on a dating app.
Because you seem rather in tune with your choices in life, and can see “what’s wrong with this picture,” please let me know when you figure out how to locate a kind, decent, intelligent man who doesn’t need to find a younger, duplicate mother.